Saturday Morning musings...

I'm so used to typing on my laptop in a remote location from home.  This morning I decided that home would be the place to spew my random thoughts.  It's been hot, which I hate.  I am from the south originaly and I'm a child of the AC world.  I HATE the heat!  There's no other way around it.  If you get too cold you can put more clothes on, if you're hot, there's only so much you can take off, especially in public!!  And trust me, for me, even less that I can take off in public.  I know what I can get away with on my body and more is better clothing wise.  I know many people who LOVE the heat.  The hotter it gets outside, the happier they are!  I think they're crazy....

I moved to Southern California about 8 months ago from Vermont.  I miss Vermont.  I am learning to love things about where I am now.  I have made some really amazing friends and that makes anything bearable.  I have had an interesting 8 months.  I have laughed a lot, cried even more and spent the rest of the time trying to figure out who I am now and how I got here.  The one constant that I never have questions about is my husband.  I am a blessed woman.  As long as we're together, I can handle anything.  I never really understood what movies and books and the like meant when talking about a soul mate or finding your match.  I get it now.  So for him, I moved to the desert.  I mean brown, cactus, palmtrees, sand..... DESERT!  It's a landscape like I have never known other than a week visit to Arizonia when I was 16 and another trip to Las Vegas in 2007.  I never thought I'd live in it!  I am learning.  It does have moments that take my breath away.  We are in the high desert surrounded by even higher mountains.  They look huge and old and bare... like wads of crumpled tissue paper that a larger being just used and threw down.  The many wrinkles and folds really do make a beautiful vision from the distance.  I miss grass, though, and trees and water and cold weather....

So, to sum up, it's Saturday morning, I miss cold weather and air conditioning, I have the best husband in the world and I have made wonderful friends.... I really shouldn't complain..... I have the best end of the deal out of those things!  Carry on... nothing to read here....

My Movie Habit

I love movies.  Anyone who's known me for longer than 5 minutes realises that I have more movie trivia in my head than the average humanoid, movie watcher.  I love the behind the scenes stuff.  I love the outtakes.  I love the making of featurettes.  I'm the phone a friend that people call when they have a movie trivia question or a "that guy who played that other guy in that movie with the dog and the sunset...". 

I have long tried to figure out why I love movies so much.  Is it the escape they provide?  Is it the sitting in the theatre and watching something so big that it takes over your whole field of vision?  Is it the no-commercials aspect?  Is it the envy of someone who used to act and doesn't get to do it anymore?  I think it's all of the above to some degree.  I recently saw Captain America.  I did not see it in 3D or in IMAX or anything else.  I saw a regular showing of the movie.  And it was WONDERFUL!  This is not an Oscar winning movie but it was an exciting 2 hour escape from the sun, the day, the job search, the dishes in the sink.  I truly loved it!  Before that I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2.  Now this one I saw with all the bell and whistles... 3D and IMAX.  I loved every frame.  It doesn't have to do with the bells and whistles.  It has to do with the whole experience of movie watching and making.  It's wondering what it was like to make the movie.  How did they make that editing choice?  How did the composer know that THAT was the music to drive that moment home?  What was it like to film that in front of a green screen?  Did they really like each other that much?  How long did the costume fittings take?  What is a gaffer?  How does the screenwriter really know what makes good dialogue?

My husband would roll his eyes and tell me that I think too much.  And maybe I do... but that's who I am.  I just know that I love movies.  I love getting lost in another world for a couple of hours and always feel a bit let down when I re-emerge into the real world.  A good movie is like a drug.  The first time you see it, you're riding high for hours.  Then you see it again in the theatre or on DVD and try, desperately, to recapture the original high of the movie.  Sometimes it gets even better when you discover things on the second viewing that you missed the first time.  Usually it just settles into a mellow happiness and eventually loses it's attractiveness and potency.  The nice thing about movies vs. drugs, there's always a new one coming out and it can't kill you, in theory.  So movies will remain my fix of choice.  I will remain an unabashed movie-a-holic.  Maybe I'll go see Thor today by myself before I go pick up the hubby from work.... What he doesn't know can't hurt me, right?  Does this count as hiding my habit?  I wonder....

Another Monday, Another Show....

It's Monday morning and I'm back.  I had an awesome weekend of cleaning and cooking and being lazy after it was all done!  I had an amazing Saturday of cooking and eating and accomplishing things.  I really love that feeling.  And now, I will make you hungry...

My hubby loves to cook.  Even more than that, he loves when people enjoy his cooking.  When he wants to feel really good, he invites others over for food in the hopes of making something good enough to have them wanting more.  He loves to be creative and loves it even more when his creativity is appreciated.  I think he love it the most when he and I cook together and he can then brag on me as well.  I so love this man!!  Anyway, he decided that we needed to make Eggs Benedict, the real way.  He was in charge of the eggs and it was up to me to make the hollandaise.... from scratch.  Now, not much goes into this yummy, rich sauce.  It's really just egg yolks, lemon, butter and a dash of red pepper.  The whisking involved is insane!!!! So 20 minutes later, arm sore and tired, we had absolutely amazing hollandaise!! After making it from scratch, I will never be satisfied with the "mock" version again.  I have spoiled myself.... AND my hubby and his brother!

So that was breakfast.... on to dinner!  My hubby requested a salmon dish that I haven't made since our second wedding anniversary.  It's an Asian inspired honey/soy/ginger glazed salmon.  Again with the sauce!  I served this with fresh green beans that I sauteed with shallots, garlic and a little olive oil... yum!  My brother in law has now decided that he needs to come over every weekend for breakfast and stay through to dinner.... we may have created our own problem here! Lol...

It was a nice weekend.  Saturday was our get things done and cook day.  Sunday was the hang out in your PJ's all day and do nothing day.  I loved it because I spent it with my hubby.  I am a very lucky woman.  5 years married and even more in love with this crazy man than ever before.  I keep expecting the love to mellow out, not diminish but just mellow, and it never does.  It gets brighter and stronger.  I was not prepared for this kind of love.  I knew I would never marry someone I wasn't sure I was in love with but I never expected this all consuming, burning, complete love.  Apparently, it shows... according to my friends.  I am thankful everyday that I happened upon this man and that I was given the chance to get to know him and, ultimately, share my life with him.  And the best part? I know he feels the same way... Isn't that nice?

Job hunting sucks!

So here I am, back at that crossroads of not having a job and trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  Now, one would assume that at 36 I would have at least SOME idea of what I wanted to accomplish with my life.  Sadly, nope.... no clue.  I think all I have figured out at this point is what I DON'T want to be when I grow up.  I know that I don't want to be president, an astronaut, an opera singer, a commissioned sales associate or a teacher.  There are many more to add to that list but those were the first to come to mind.  Things I have thought about doing: Travel agent (sadly outdated with the convenience of Travelocity, Kayak, etc...), probation officer, social worker, psychologist, entrepreneur, and housewife (not an option as I would go crazy and have a breakdown).  I have thought about going back to school which scares me more than words have the power to express.  At this point, I think the last is the best idea.  So I've been researching schools. 

I have such a different perspective this time.  I remember being 18 and thinking about college and where I wanted to go, what I wanted to major in and where I saw myself in 5 or 10 years.  Sitting here almost 20 years later, considering going back to school to finish what I started, I feel scared, almost more so than before.  I had such expectations from myself and from life.  It was supposed to go according to plan.  That did not happen.  I never did graduate.  I am no longer pursuing the field that I trained in for roughly 15 years.  I know that leaving that field was the right choice for me but how much time wasted??  Of course there are those that say it wasn't wasted.  And I do believe that every experience we have helps to create the people we are today so I can't say I regret anything.  Wow.... tangent much??  Anyway, school this time scares me but I think I can actually do it this time.  I'm tired of being overlooked because I don't have a degree.  I think I was convinced that I could prove to the world that you didn't need a degree when you have the smarts, personality and drive.  I think I may have been wrong about that....

So, here I go.  As soon as I can get my FASFA filled out and see if I qualify for government help, I'll be going back to school to major in psychology.  After all, with my life, I've already earned at least an advanced degree in psychology... now to get my paper proving it!!

Panera 2: Electric Bugaloo

So today I sit at the "other" Panera and watch a different group of humanity pass me by.  I would label this Panera as the single persons Panera.  Most of the folks who come in here are alone and carrying technology, like me.  Maybe this is the new job search locale for the modern age.  There is technology all around me.  I sit here with my laptop, iPhone and headphones, listening to Pandora's radio station picked just for me that I can customise with the click of a button, looking for jobs and chatting with my awesome little bro.  At the next table over sits a man with his laptop, a bluetooth, a cell phone and an iPad.  There is a couple here as well: He's on his iPhone and she's talking on her BlackBerry.  I can only assume they're not talking to each other.  I did think there was one person who shunned technology.  She came in with a travel mug, a big slouchy handbag and, get this, a PINK leather organizer.  This look compliments her red polka-dot dress and nude patent leather heels as a very put together throwback from about 10 years ago.  Then it happened: she pulled out the laptop and the cell phone and proceeded to get working on both.

What did we do before this age of instant gratification through technology?  I remember having to talk to someone.  How about an answering machine??  Who has one of those anymore?  Hell, who has a home phone anymore?  I'm living in the southern California desert, with a Vermont cell phone as my main form of communication.  My husband finally got a new cell phone, still with a Vermont number, that he can use to text.... finally!  And here I was, fighting the whole texting movement as recently as a year ago!!  Now, where would I be without my iPhone and unlimited texting plan?  I hate how impersonal the world has become while being totally addicted to the things that have taken away interpersonal communication.  I miss sitting around and talking to someone.  I miss the anticipation of checking my answering machine to see if anyone called (I know, I need a life).  I'm beginning to feel about email the way I used to feel about the junk mail I got at home in my mailbox.  I'm waiting for the government to figure out a way to create a "Do Not Email" list for spammers.  Sigh.....

I know I went on a bit of a rant today but it seemed the thing to do.  I feel better now that I've shared with my best listener.... my laptop.  Now I need to go check my iPhone and see if anyone texted me....

Second verse, same as the first....

Did you know the old men who meet for coffee and discuss politics have gone "high brow"?

I am a recently unemployed woman with too much time on my hands and not enough to occupy them.  As such, I have taken to sitting in my local Panera Bread every morning for a couple of hours trying to be responsible and motivated.  On these mornings, I see humanity pass me by in the form of the local population.  Part of that is the usual.... housewives who have just dropped the kids off at school or camp or whatever daily activity kids do in the summer, students who are taking summer courses and come here for the same reason I do... home is just too tempting to get anything done, and groups who meet once a week or once a month to catch up.  It is just such a group that captures my attention today. 

There are 4 of them.  All about the same age and same manner of dress.... khakis, golf shirts and really thick soled tennis shoes.  Arms folded across their chests, coffee having been drunk already, they sit back and discuss politics.  It is interesting to hear the world of politics from their point of view.  Whether or not I agree with them, I enjoy listening.  I'm not eavesdropping but their voices carry through the room like low thunder.  These men have seen at least 70 or more years of American history happen and they sound like it.  They are weary.  They are sad.  They see a country that built itself up and is slowly tearing itself down.  While my politics differ from theirs, I understand why they feel the way they do.  I even find myself agreeing with some of their statements.  They are the typical old mans coffee clatch.... and a true part of American tradition.  While so much of the world speeds up and we lose some of the old traditions, I'm glad to see that this one is alive and well.  So what if it's not at the local diner or the mom and pop grocery store, they don't exist much anymore either.  This one is at Panera Bread in Lancaster, CA.  It is wonderful and I love them!  Talk on, gentlemen, talk on....