Family! What a word! To everyone it means something different. For some, it conjures up warm images of home and hearth and holidays. For others is brings up sad or painful or angry feelings. But, really, what is a real family? What makes up a true family? What does family really mean?
A little background on me and MY family. I am southern with a capital S.... Southern. We are close in the way that "family" is supposed to be. We may have our ups and downs but we're always there in a bind. I have 5 brothers, 4 older and 1 younger, and one sister who is the LOVE of my LIFE! I don't have regular communication with most of my siblings, as we did not grow up together, but I do love them and would be there for them if I could help in anyway. My younger brother and my sister and I grew up together. I'm a stupidly proud big sister to both my younger siblings.... They are both amazing humans I am glad to know! I talk to them both on a regular basis and love them more than words. I am SO proud of who they are and what they have accomplished. I would give them the shirt off my back, though it would be too big for both of them (they're of the skinny people.) I have 4 aunts, 2 uncles, 4 immediate cousins and TONS of extended family!! They are from all walks of life. I am particularly close to my mothers sister. She and I have a special bond that goes WAY beyond aunt and niece and approaches something closer to friend, confidante and soul mate. While a long way apart in the physical sense, I am very close to my family!
My husbands family is very different. They seem destined to hurt each other as much as possible until someone flinches and moves away and stops talking to the other part. It's horrible. I have never experienced this in my own life so I did not believe him until I experienced it for myself. We lived with my in laws for 6 months. We moved clear across the country because, due to a health scare that my husbands father went though, my husband felt that if he did not take the chance to try one more time to repair his relationship with his family, that it would be something he would regret when he goes to meet his maker (who he swears is a gaming god so his analogy was more like when he runs out of quarters to continue his game, etc...) Now, I get it. I see what he was talking about. I experienced the venom and negativity. I was shocked. I was miserable. I stopped believing in myself or in our ability to accomplish anything worth anything. Thank God, we were able to extricate ourselves from this situation. Thank God, we had each other. My heart bleeds for him. No one should have to feel the way he has been made to feel. When he and I first got together, I remember asking him, in a get to know you sorta way, if he could go anywhere in the world, where would he go. His response broke my heart. "I was told that I would never accomplish anything so it was foolish to dream." I could not believe that a parent would ever say that to their child. My soul hurt for that little boy who should have been told to reach for the stars and that anything is possible! Sadly, I get it now. I now know why he didn't believe in himself for so long.
How could my family and his family be SO different? After thinking about this for a long time, I mean we've been married for 5 1/2 years and together for 7, I realised something I'd forgotten. Family to me isn't just the people I'm related to through blood. My family are the people I know would help me out in a pinch as I would do for them. My family consists of people from all walks of life who are spread throughout the world. My family consists of blood relatives, friends and people I haven't spoken to in years. My family is wide spread and vast. My family is all ages, races, nationalities, sexual preferences, heights, weights and socio-economic backgrounds. I could not imagine my life without any of them. These are people that I know would be there for me and I for them no matter what. My family are the people who encourage me to live up to my potential or support my latest "I want to be this when I grow up." I am truly blessed in my family. I want to take this last moment to thank them all. They have stood by me when I have been down and out. They have listened, cried, laughed, hugged and supported me and my husband through some truly trying times in the last few years. I have been a less than pleasant person to deal with at times. I would not have made it without my family. So, as one truly humbled, thank you.....
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