I Am a Foodie... or Why I HATE Cleaning the Kitchen

So, I am coming out.  This will not be a shock to anyone who has known me for more than 5 minutes, but I am a foodie.  It's true.  I can't hide it.  I love food and not just because I love to eat.  These are actually very different things.  Loving to eat is scarfing down food without appreciating the flavours or the smells or the colors or the textures.  Loving to eat is an action.  Loving food is a lifestyle!  There are many many MANY foodies out there.  Some have made it their profession (just watch one minute of Food Network or the Cooking Channel,) some have become writers or bloggers about food (for a good one, check out my friend's blog http://www.venturafoodhappenings.com/), some go out to any restaurant they can get into just to try something new and some experiment in their own kitchens, taking inspiration from everything they've read and tried.  My husband and I fall into the latter category.  We love to cook!

We watch, read, eat and produce food.  This has not been kind to our health so much, which we are working on and are making progress, but that's another blog for another day, and has most definitely NOT been kind to any kitchen in which we happen to cook.  I tend to be the "neat" one and that's not saying much when we cook.  I am getting better.  I am making a conscious effort to improve my kitchen etiquette.  The same cannot be said of my husband. 

Now, let me just say, the man can COOK!!!  He loves it!  He relishes any opportunity to try something new!  And it's rough for me, being married to a man who loves to cook and loves to bake... oh yeah, a real hardship.... That having been said, I usually get to clean up after these amazing cooking sessions.  I don't mind cleaning up usually.  However, sometimes the destruction is awesome in the true sense of the word... as in you stare in awe at the colossal mess.  And just HOW does he manage to get food UNDER the lip of the counter???  To be fair, I have had my moments.  I did manage to get spaghetti sauce on the ceiling once (there was a horrifying splatter-when-I-dropped-the-pan-because-it-was-hot thing going on when this happened) and we do not have a dishwasher (other than me) and I do get lazy sometimes and leave the dishes to pile up.  So on those occasions, I have no one but myself to blame. 

What might have started this whole thought process today, you might be asking.  Well, for the last 2 hours, I have been scrubbing and dusting and cleaning up.  I have found food in places I didn't know it was possible to get food particles!  I have learned that Seventh Generation makes a multi-surface cleaner that, when splashed in one's eye, does not sting.  I have tripped, more than once, over both dogs who think mom is putting "nummies" on the floor for them to consume.  I have washed a small mountain of dishes and pans.  I have had to start a load of laundry as all of my cleaning cloths are dirty.  AND I have had the realisation that next time my husband cooks, HE gets to clean up!  Maybe he will become more aware of where he is scattering his foodie mess.  I'm not holding my breath, mind you.

We will still cook.  We will still make a mess.  I will still expect flour on the refrigerator door handle.  I will still expect "gunk" on the oven door.  I will even expect a mound of dishes.  But maybe, I can get some help with the clean up.  Any volunteers???  We'll feed you!

Fall?

So I see them everywhere... new backpacks, shiny shoes, new clothes, same attitude but with a veneer of excitement.  I see the same ads offering the supplies we all think we needed and then never used or used only a quarter of what we actually bought.  It MUST be fall and time to go back to school.  I have many friends who started back to school, both as students and as teachers, recently and I am finding myself a bit jealous.  They have a purpose.  They have an aim.  They have a daily plan.  I have none of the above.

I feel so lost right now.  I'm missing the cool air, the crisp breeze, the end of the summer cycle.  I am hot, bored, cranky and cannot find a purpose for being.  Now I don't mean this as a depression "I'm giving up" note but more as a way to get it out of my head so I can make room for new ideas and for hope. 

Fall has ALWAYS been my favorite season.  I love the change from summer to fall.  I love the smells and sounds and sights.  I love the leaves falling all around me and the sound underfoot when they crackle.  I love the smells of the rotting leaves and the woodstoves and fireplaces being lit for the first time in several months.  I love the sight of shiny apples and really really fresh cider.  I love having to go find my warmer blankets.  I love the excuse to curl up with a good book or in front of a good movie on TV (or a REALLY bad movie that's so bad it becomes an indulgence movie,) I also love the excuse to make mulled wine or to have that really nice single malt scotch to "warm me up".  I love the ritual of Halloween.  Seeing the kids in their costumes makes me smile and wish I were still young enough to have the excuse to dress up every year.  My birthday is on November 1.  It's always cooler and almost coat weather depending on where I am at the time. Another year older and my favorite season, it's always been a winning combination for me.

This year, I'm in Southern California.  Today and tomorrow are supposed to peak around 110 degrees.  Kids are back in school.  I see them on the sidewalks walking to and from school.  New backpacks, new shoes, new clothes, same look of anticipation and resignation.  They carry water bottles and sweat as they walk.  My car doesn't have AC so when I go to pick my husband up from work at 4:30, I sweat all the way there and all the way home.  It IS a dry heat but, really, HOT is HOT!!! I think I have reverse seasonal depression or SAD.  I admit it..... I am officially a hot weather weenie.... and I embrace that title!

So, I will leave Panera, go home, crank the swamp cooler (another thing I had to get used to and learn about) to high and hide indoors.  Oh yeah, and I'll look up some footage of fall.... and smile!

On Being Grateful....

This subject seems to be calling out to me recently.  I saw a news report this morning on the Today show (a whole other blog on how this show runs my family and has for 3 generations now) and was reminded, yet again, of the fragility of life.  The story?  A cop, back from yet another tour of duty in Iraq, goes into a McDonalds for his much deserved food break.  He encounters a 10 yr old little boy who asks for $.10 to buy a cookie.  The cop whips out his wallet, without a second thought, and buys the kid the cookies.  He asks him what he wants to be when he grows up and tells the kid to work hard and he can achieve anything.  The cop grabs his food and leaves the McDonalds to get back in his car and go about his business.  3 minutes later, a troubled young man pulls up next to him in traffic, pulls out a shotgun and shoots the officer who dies.  3 minutes after he gave of his heart and pocket to make the day of a young boy he had never met and would, most likely, never see again.

To me, this is a sad reminder of how short life can be and how senseless tragedy can be.  BUT, it is also a reminder of the kindness and generosity of people.  How one moment can change a life.  How one act of kindness can stick with a person.  The news report also interviewed the young boy who was the recipient of the cookies.  He seemed confused by the suddenness of the tragedy.  He also was affected by the cop's generosity and warm heart.  I turned to my husband and said "Ten to one that kid becomes a cop."  I wouldn't be surprised if this kid became a cop or a lawyer.  Of course, I know I'm probably just being idealistic again but I can't help it. 

To me, this just reminds me to cherish the moments with loved ones even more: Hug my husband more, call my family more, call my friends more, love on my animals more.  Appreciate the kindness of strangers.  Stop to look at the sunset.  Pause to just breathe.  Enjoy the taste of food.  Celebrate the little victories.  Mourn the losses.  Dance to the radio.  Sing along!  Don't be afraid to be goofy.  Don't be afraid! 

I have always hoped that, when I go, people will remember me as someone who made a difference when she could.  Maybe part of that is also appreciating what you have and reminding others to appreciate what they have as well. 

So, on that note, I offer this up to the universe:
Today, I open my heart and mind up to the powers that be without and within.  I say thank you for everything I have in my life and thank you for the hardships, as we learn from them and become better people for it.  I will try to be more patient, understanding, aware and generous both with my time and my thoughts.  I will try to appreciate this time I have and not be so hard on myself.  I will try to love myself, flaws and all.  Please help me to reach out to others to help them too.  Help me to have patience with myself and others.  Your humble servant.....

Desperate Housewife....

Now I'm not talking about the TV show... I'm talking about ME!!  As I've previously stated, I'm unemployed right now.  I have a LOT of time to hang out at the house and think about what I want to do with my life.  I have been trying to stay busy what with job searching and all.... but there are only so many times you can search a job site to see that there's nothing available where you live, at least not for you.  As such, I have begun to become a housewife and boy do I admire those housewives out there!!!

I hate doing dishes.  I have vowed, in the past, to NEVER be without a dishwasher again... oops.  I live in a very small 1 bedroom bungalow style duplex.  I love it!  It's great!  We have all the space we need.  There's a small yard for the dogs and it's easy to clean.  No dishwasher, however.  I have done more dishes in the last couple of months than I have ever done!!  I still hate them but I'm better about actually doing them, rather than letting them pile up.  I also have been cooking a lot more.  I love to cook and I always have but now I'm actually trying new things and revisiting some old favorites.  Today, I'm making peach cobbler.  I have a ton of dishes to do right now but I decided to make cobbler instead.  I forgot how much fun it is to make it all from scratch.  My house smells warm and buttery and rich.  My dogs are snoring on the sofa and the cat is, most likely, under the bed.  My husband and I have recently joined a group to receive fresh organic produce from local farmers once a week.  This has also challenged me as a home cook.  Last week we got beautiful, amazing veggies.  We grilled the zucchini and the corn and I made fresh salsa.  The peaches for today's cobbler were also from our box.  The lettuce went the first day.  I love it! 

I am also enjoying the being a wife part of this whole odyssey.  I have to get up with my hubby in the mornings and drive him to work.  I come home and putter around the house (after I look for work,) and then go pick him up at the end of his work day.  We get to eat a late lunch together and then hang out.  We usually cook dinner together and then either go our separate ways or watch a movie.  It's nice to spend time with my sweetie.  I'm wondering when I'll start climbing the walls.... I am content for the moment. 

I will enjoy this contentment for a moment and then it will pass.  I will go clean the bedroom, gather the laundry and, yes, even do the dishes.....

The "F" word...

No, not THAT "F" word.... I'm talking about failure.  Let's talk about it.  It's a word that crosses my mind far too often for my liking, and yet, I can't seem to stop it.  I can think of famous quotes and pithy sayings that would make for a funnier blog but I can't seem to muster the wit today.  I feel like a failure.  That is how that word most often comes up for me.  I know many people would probably want to smack me for even having that thought but since no one actually reads this blog (I'm guessing), then I think I'll remain smack free.  I know my husband would just get angry if I were to tell him how I feel.  And while I appreciate his leaping to my defense, since he's leaping against me as well, it hurts and makes me feel worse... more like I've failed him too.  Now, I'm smarter than the average bear and I know that I'm being silly and that I'm failing at giving myself a break, but there again.... fail.  So this will be a short entry as it is so negative... I hate being negative!!  It is SO not like me!  I guess I'm hoping that if I type all this out and read through it that I will realise how silly it all sounds.  However, how it sounds and how it feels are two entirely different things.  If only we could control our feelings with logic... but I guess they wouldn' be true feelings then, right?  Yeah.... so after reading this over again, I guess the idea of going back to school for Psychology is a good one, huh?  I'm gonna find a way to make it happen!  I have to.... Onward!