Fall?

So I see them everywhere... new backpacks, shiny shoes, new clothes, same attitude but with a veneer of excitement.  I see the same ads offering the supplies we all think we needed and then never used or used only a quarter of what we actually bought.  It MUST be fall and time to go back to school.  I have many friends who started back to school, both as students and as teachers, recently and I am finding myself a bit jealous.  They have a purpose.  They have an aim.  They have a daily plan.  I have none of the above.

I feel so lost right now.  I'm missing the cool air, the crisp breeze, the end of the summer cycle.  I am hot, bored, cranky and cannot find a purpose for being.  Now I don't mean this as a depression "I'm giving up" note but more as a way to get it out of my head so I can make room for new ideas and for hope. 

Fall has ALWAYS been my favorite season.  I love the change from summer to fall.  I love the smells and sounds and sights.  I love the leaves falling all around me and the sound underfoot when they crackle.  I love the smells of the rotting leaves and the woodstoves and fireplaces being lit for the first time in several months.  I love the sight of shiny apples and really really fresh cider.  I love having to go find my warmer blankets.  I love the excuse to curl up with a good book or in front of a good movie on TV (or a REALLY bad movie that's so bad it becomes an indulgence movie,) I also love the excuse to make mulled wine or to have that really nice single malt scotch to "warm me up".  I love the ritual of Halloween.  Seeing the kids in their costumes makes me smile and wish I were still young enough to have the excuse to dress up every year.  My birthday is on November 1.  It's always cooler and almost coat weather depending on where I am at the time. Another year older and my favorite season, it's always been a winning combination for me.

This year, I'm in Southern California.  Today and tomorrow are supposed to peak around 110 degrees.  Kids are back in school.  I see them on the sidewalks walking to and from school.  New backpacks, new shoes, new clothes, same look of anticipation and resignation.  They carry water bottles and sweat as they walk.  My car doesn't have AC so when I go to pick my husband up from work at 4:30, I sweat all the way there and all the way home.  It IS a dry heat but, really, HOT is HOT!!! I think I have reverse seasonal depression or SAD.  I admit it..... I am officially a hot weather weenie.... and I embrace that title!

So, I will leave Panera, go home, crank the swamp cooler (another thing I had to get used to and learn about) to high and hide indoors.  Oh yeah, and I'll look up some footage of fall.... and smile!